Well dear reader,
It is almost the end of another year.
While I have not yet achieved the goals in my dream or became the person, I see in my head – yes I understand that may make me seem a tad “mental” – I have conquered the consistent.
I can happily note, I have blogged once a month, and each blog has the same spirit and attitude. The same drive and motivation to achieve the goals I see and the same disappointment that I am not one step closer.
And while I keep dreaming, life has happened. This year I have made significant changes, I started a new job, I had my boyfriend move in with his two cats and I have travelled. The memories with my family and friends I hold on to in my despair, in my shame of not being closer to the goals.
I know in my head, that I just need to start to actively use the hours in the day and the spare minutes to be working on getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. I have the plans, I know the rules, I know the conscious decisions I should be making to bring the imaginary to reality.
Yet I am blocked, I am not closer, I have no idea how to change to make the masterpiece my mind has created to tangible life. I have no idea why I am losing the fight between how I envision my day to play out and the physical world I live in.
So, I will continue to try, and dream that I find my answers. I know where I want to be, in my head I can see and touch it, the struggle is to make it real.
Am I the only one who feels this?
With that, I leave you until my next post.
Cathartic-Ella Out.
Chasing The Dream. 